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Alright, I’m pissed!

I got called a sell-out yesterday, by some little shit dice monkey that comes into my store and likes to just run his damn mouth about games.  Now I like talking games with anyone; it’s my passion, you see.  And I will have open and honest conversations with damn near anyone about roleplaying games, at any time of day.  Need proof? Just hit me up at a convention, or even the store.

But this sniveling little shit was talking to me, and asked me my opinion on fourth edition.  I gave my honest review (its strong points, its weak points, how much I like that it echoes the game I played a long time ago).  I even threw in that I was looking for a publisher for my campaign setting.

That little snot looked me in the eyes, shook his head and said, “You are such a sell-out, giving in to a game that is just copying WoW on paper.”

Had I actually been the owner of the store, I may have gone off on him then and there.  But since I am still just an hourly peon, I had to bite my tongue and not verbally wipe this floor with this dick.

So I asked him, “How is it like WoW?” I didn’t get a single solid answer out of him.  Every poin the made, I shot in the face.

Well the roles, I mean, pigeonholing?  Look here asshole, in my day we all had a role to play in the game, and we did it well, instead of everyone wanting to be a special-effing-snowflake (we all know how much I love THESE people…).  Hence the term ROLEplaying, you jackhole!  Look, this game was always about the team accomplishing goals.  Whether it is saving the princess, killing the dragon, getting rich or even just surviving, it has always been built around people doing their part.  This Special Snowflake character shit started with a game in the early 90’s that, frankly, just encouraged self-indulgent assholes to be more self-indulgent.  I played that game, and it’s peers, and still do.  But I still put the emphasis on the team, the group.  What the hell fun is one person being able to do it all, while the rest of us just sit there?

Powers, I mean, way to take it right from the game! Really, that’s the best you can do?  Powers?  They are called powers because they are abilities that EMPOWER your character.  And while we’re at it, realize that EVERY DAMN ROLEPLAYING has some form of this.  WoW took the idea of powers and abilities and ran with it, as any good game designer should.

Feats are just a cop out version of talents. Actually, you inbred stain, feats were introduced in the game in 2000, years before WoW came out.  Jesus, what does it take to get people to at least do their research.

The dwarves, I mean it looks just like Ironforge. Hell yes it does!  That is because it has been become a trope of the genre, the mountainous fortress run by dwarves. TOLKIEN DID IT, YOU GODDAMN CROTCH-GOBLIN!

He had a few more points, I can’t quite recall perfectly because by this point, I was internally in such a rage that I was ready to bite his face off.  Look, I don’t mind some witty repartee or friendly arguing.  But do NOT come to a duel of wits with me unarmed.  I will stab you, shoot you, kick you in the ding ding, then watch you die.  I take joy in it.

Look, I am not saying 4E is the perfect game.  But I will tell you this: You compare it to an MMO to me again, you better have some damn proof.  Does it resemble the game flow of an MMO?  Really?  Or does that MMO do a good job of emulating the RPGs that were its predecessor, and since it is more culturally widespread, just fall into the place of originator in the common thought?

EDIT: I will give you one thing, the marking system by defender role classes does a wonderful job of emulating threat from MMOs.  And having played a meat shield over the years, as well as the squishy wizard, I am glad for it.  There is now a reason for your DM to have that BBN (big bad nasty) focus on the one that can take the punishment (if he does his job right), instead of chewing the rest of us up like so much marshmallow fluff.

I welcome your comments.

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One Comment

  1. *chuckle* Well, I can’t say much – when 4e came out I pegged it as written to attract the MMO crowd. The particular role names seem to draw from there. However, moreso I said that it was written *very* much in a manner to be easy to program – many parts of the game are very state-based, and the change with everything being expressed in squares where diagonals are counted singly simplifies it (though it also makes life so much easier for everyone really).

    I think there are certainly similarities in mechanics *for the combat system*. However, WoW is really derived *from* RPGs, with changes to make programming it less error-prone – in some of those changes came elements that could be incorporated to make the combat system a little easier (not to mention enhanced – now there are benefits to using certain flourishes in combat scenarios).

    Besides, isn’t there some sort of skill system in WoW the actually more emulates the 3e skill system (where you had ranks every level – supposedly somewhat the equivalent of getting better with skills as you use them)? So who’s ripping off whom (if there is truly any underhanded thievery involved)?

    Some similarities, sure I’ll buy that. The same game put into print? Sorry, this isn’t the Evercrack RPG.


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